How to take the child into the family again?

Secondly, his attitude towards his younger sister (she is three months old). He shouts that he does not need a sister, that he needs to carry her back. Tries to spank her, takes rattles ...

A bit of history. A year and a half ago, I was with my son, then still very little, had an accident. My son was all right, and I was in a hospital with a serious injury. My parents took the child away for several months so that I could recover and improve my health.

Because of the consequences of the injury, it was difficult for me to take care of a small child and I gave him another few months to my mother-in-law, then he stayed again with my parents at the dacha for the whole summer. Then my mother brought him to me (we live in different cities). A month later, I gave birth to a daughter. "

(Question to the psychologist.)

First, for the family, actually parental use.

Now you need to take the child, feel it with your son, not the son of grandmothers.

It is important to find in the child the good things that you can rely on in your idea of ​​him. Due to the circumstances, you had long breaks in communication with your child, sometimes in such circumstances there is a feeling that all the troubles are due to separation, and the child begins to be perceived as something alien, external to the family.

Therefore, it is very important to find and continue to search constantly in the child for what it has in common with you and your spouse, what it looks like to you, what it does just like you, what mimic reactions (smiles like you, or frowns like husband) what gestures like you.

Now go to the organization child interactions.

Try to organize as many situations as possible when you can be in close physical contact with him. For example, you feed a baby, and hug your son with your free hand. If possible, let something similar become a kind of ritual. Then the Son will be included in your communication with his daughter, he will have his own rightful place. Then he will not need to compete with his sister.

In children, a small difference in age - the older one is still a baby. Let's think about how he could show his seniority and feel useful. For example, ask him to build a pyramid for you and the sisters - you will look and rejoice. Or bring you cubes in the back to build a house together. That is, to do all the things that he could do just for himself, for you and the sisters in order to demonstrate their skills or entertain you. Then the son will be involved in interaction with you and will not feel rejected.

Let's also consider how to arrange a position for a boy. superiority over sister When a person (in our case, a little man) is sure that he is immeasurably superior to someone, he stops competing, instead begins to provide patronage. For the formation of this position, you can voice out loud things that are usually not spoken, because they are taken for granted.

For example: “It’s great that you’re already so big, you can run so fast on your sturdy legs. And my sister still can not do it! Imagine, she still can not even sit, let alone run! But when you grow up, you can teach her to run as fast and jump as high as you can! Who else besides you can teach her that way? That will be great!

And she still can not speak as well as you. She doesn’t even know how to say “mother”. Let's teach her together so she can ask what she needs. And now neither ask nor ask can not, just crying, but we need to guess what she needs. Here you are - another thing: wanted to drink - said about it! Wanted the pot - said about it! "

It is important for the child to feel important and necessary in the family, to be in the focus of attention of the parents. To this, in fact, the boy and seeks accessible ways. The main task here is to show ways for the child to be in the spotlight - acceptable to all, ways to be useful and accepted.

Watch the video: Child Protective Services destroyed my family? (March 2020).

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