At first, when I talked with her, I was completely perplexed and refused to believe that, on the one hand, the situation with marriage was in fact so disastrous, and on the other, that for single and abandoned women to get married or have a permanent “body” in the house - just “Fix idea”. My abandoned interlocutor suffered in Ukraine, in a small town, and according to her, to marry there, and especially for a good person, is not just a difficult task, but on the verge of fantasy.
Men in such cities are much smaller than women, young people tend to go to a bigger city or abroad, middle-aged men also do not want to live in the backwoods and leave their town hoping to make money somewhere and find a more interesting society. The second negative point - almost everyone who is left is either old people, or alcoholics, or outright parasites at best!
And what especially killed me - a huge demand for them! It doesn’t matter whether he works or not, sober or drinks without drying - if he is alone, he is being hunted. The main goal is to get him home, let him be absolutely useless, let him sit on his neck, hang his legs and talk with them - there is a MAN in the house, and this is the main thing, a woman has a positive status, and all the lonely friends or neighbors envy her with black envy.
Maybe it was in that city that the situation was so bad and that the woman was not lucky, I thought, and I conducted a small blitz survey of my acquaintances on the Internet living in small cities of Russia. Alas, the results of the survey did not please me ...
In small Russian towns, villages and villages, the situation was, according to the stories of the respondents, no less depressing - indiscriminate drunkenness, the absence of “sane” candidates for husbands. And the last "nail" in the coffin with the hope that not everything is so bad, hammered into the Russian program about some deaf village in central Russia, where everything was already scanty female population ... only one man of seventy-odd years! In this village there is not a single man acceptable for family creation or at least for, sorry, “making” children, can you imagine? They showed this more cheerful old man, to whom the whole village in turn was preparing to eat, cooked brew, cleaned it in his house, even dug him a kitchen garden, just because he lives next to them!
After having had fun and amazement, I decided to find out the reason, or at least try to do it - find out why all these women need a man in the house? To earn money? But often in their apartment (in the house) on the couch lying frank parasite. For sexual needs, to have a regular partner and not be puzzled by the search? But what about alcoholics who do not get out of drinking bouts and are not good for anything? Drug addicts, not only that as men no longer capable of anything for sexually, they also drag everything from home to buy a dose. Just love? Is it possible to love a person who, I'm sorry, frankly crap on your head, does not give a dime? The mythical status of a married lady? But the husbands of such women, who tolerate them in any case, do not mind going to the left, on occasion, they don’t give a damn about such concepts as decency and loyalty.
A familiar psychologist gave me the answer, on the one hand, banal to the horror, on the other - completely unexpected, given that we live in the twenty-first century, in the world of high technology, when a computer is in every home. In the desire of a woman to have a man next to him lies ... primitive fear! Once upon a time, the female felt calm and protected on an instinctive level, if she knew, the male would bring her and the youngs food, dig a hole or rake a cave where they could hide, protect them from wild animals. If there is a male next to him, there will be children, and this means procreation.
And what does it have to do with it, I asked, because the stone age is long past and a woman can, if she wishes, protect herself and feed herself! And the whole thing is, the learned husband answered me (and from his answer I just had my eyes on my forehead) that humanity has recently begun to develop too quickly, and there has been a failure from a violation of a certain pace of development: instead of improving faster and to keep pace with progress, people subconsciously awaken in themselves ancient animal instincts, and the desire of a woman In any variant of having a “male” alongside is a vivid example. Along with this, the psyche is massively shaken by humanity, in the world there is just an invasion of psychopaths and perverts, but this is a topic for another discussion ...
... My husband's grandmother, who grew up three children after the war, always loved to repeat: "The head of a person is higher than all the other organs, and she should not be allowed to go down." No one argues that the men have completely deteriorated and there are no decent, hardworking, loyal ones near us at all. I do not call for absolutely anyone anyone for militant feminism, but maybe it is worth driving out primal fears and looking at the world with human eyes? And to live with a person is not so that he just occupied some niche nearby. And not because there is a strong material interest (mercenary relationships in marriage are also a separate conversation ...). Let's be together for one reason - because we need each other for happiness and love!